From A Kid's Perspective

We all know that, you, parents want the same thing for your children--- a great future. You work for them, put them to school and pray that things will work out fine and that they will finish College so they can work towards that great future. However, there are some who are not so "fortunate", as some parents would say. Why? All because their kid is lazy and unproductive. Tsk, tsk, parents... give your child a break, once in a while, that is.

Before you read on, let's agree on something... These are my terms: I am not writing this to condemn you, but I am writing this with the hope that you will be able to understand what your kids are going through. After all, I am a kid myself (though no longer in my teens)! 

Speaking on behalf of all the children (even the not-so-young ones), I would like to ask parents to please, give us kids a break. We ask this kindly, and not forcefully because we respect you and love you but we ask this of you, now. 

Kids, especially teenagers, feel like they're given a hard time by their parents because they have yet to understand what their parents feel and want for them. See that's the problem here because parents, though pure in their intentions, seem to forget sometimes that kids are... well, kids!  These kids have their own wants, and feelings. Have you forgotten that once upon a time, not so long ago, you were a kid, too? Do you remember how it felt like to be pushed? Do you not recall a time when older people would not listen to you? How about the emotional turmoil you had to go through because nobody seemed to feel what you felt?

You see, somehow in the middle of all the pushing and pulling to get somewhere, misunderstanding becomes the universal language between parents and kids. That shouldn't be the case, though! Parents should remember to listen to their young because that will help build or break their personalities. If you keep shutting up your kid, or pushing them to success... do you really think they will grow up to be such great men and women? I don't think so. Chances are, they'll learn to hate you and though they will still love you as their parents, they'll promise to themselves never to raise their kids the way that they've been raised. Now, doesn't that just hurt? When I become a parent, I want the best for my child but I also want to hear my child say, "When I have kids of my own, I'm going to raise them like you did to me, ma. Well, 'coz I turned out okay!" That would be sweet, sweet music to my ears!

So here are a few tips that I've gathered from talking to all my friends who have parents who push too much:

1. Give your kid a break---once in a while! Don't give them too much, let them be kids! Youth only happens once, and when you push them to be such responsible kids: they will no longer have time to enjoy their life!

2. Don't push too hard--- Some kids work better under pressure, however there are still those that work better on their own pace. They need a little prodding every now and then, but please... do not constantly push! The more you push them when they cannot go on anymore, the more you're pushing them away from you!

3. Don't keep repeating their faults--- It's always better to give someone a fresh start. This even applies to kids: "Kids, don't keep repeating your parents' flaws!" The more you repeat their faults, the more your kids will not want to work. Keep repeating the negativity, and they'll absorb that! They will learn to give up on themselves because you've already given up.

4. Encourage them--- Instead of repeating negative issues, why don't you try the positive side? Encourage your child when they are not doing so well, don't push them down to the ground even more. Speak to them about how they can be better, but always part with sweet words to uplift the spirit. Always remind them that failure is not the end, but a beginning to another chance! 

5. Listen to them--- Just because they're young, doesn't mean you won't find wisdom in their words. Or, maybe this will be a way for you to sympathize with them. Listen to your kids because clear communication: peaceful, equal and steady communication, help build any kind of relationship. This applies to parent-child relationships, especially!

I bet that despite our agreement ("I am not writing this to condemn you, but I am writing this with the hope that you will be able to understand what your kids are going through"), you're feeling a little shaken by what I've just said. It could be that you're mad at what I've pointed out, that you think I don't know anything about what I'm saying or what parents feel... but think about this, chances are your child has pondered suicide at least once in their life. Would you really rather push them to success all the time and end up loosing them, or would you rather try what I've just said and maybe build your relationship with them? Because as far as I can see, there is no harm in trying what I've just shared to you--- there is only the possibility of succeeding!

So parents, please... heed my plea. Give your a child a break, and listen to them. Let us not be stuck in a world where misunderstanding is the universal language between parents and kids. Let's be stuck in a world where failures are beginnings, where existing is not enough but being alive and living is (!!) and where positive love is always present.

P.S. I would love to hear about your story between you and your kid/s. Maybe I can help, from a kid's perspective? And also, if you've tried the few things that I've listed... tell me about it! It's as easy as writing in the comments section below. And if you're a kid, why don't you share your experience here, too? I'll be open, and happy to hear about anything! So, what are you waiting for? Let's talk!

Still writing,